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Saturday, 20 June 2020

How I Lost You by Jenny Blackhurst




Description from Goodreads:

"I have no memory of what happened but I was told I killed my son.

And you believe what your loved ones, your doctor and the police tell you, don't you?

My name is Emma Cartwright. Three years ago I was Susan Webster, and I murdered my twelve-week-old son Dylan. I was sent to Oakdale Psychiatric Institute for my crime, and four weeks ago I was released early on parole with a new identity, address, and a chance to rebuild my tattered life. This morning, I received an envelope addressed to Susan Webster. Inside it was a photograph of a toddler called Dylan.

Now I am questioning everything I believe because if I have no memory of the event, how can I truly believe he's dead?

If there was the smallest chance your son was alive, what would you do to get him back? "


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Oooooo ... this was good and I am annoyed with myself for not reading it earlier when it first came out in 2015 but better late than never I always say!

The book starts with a letter written by convicted child killer Susan Webster to the Parole Board seeking early release from her prison sentence that was handed down following her conviction for the murder of her 3 month old son, Dylan ... a murder she has absolutely no recollection of but had to admit she committed the crime because everyone was telling her she did.  On release, Susan, now called Emma, is making attempts to rebuild her life however when she receives a picture of a toddler called Dylan, she starts to ask questions and so begins Susan/Emma's search for the truth of what actually happened on that fateful day.

Written mainly from the perspective of Susan/Emma with flashbacks of other characters, it's told at a good pace with good tension and twists.  The characters are excellent and well developed but if I have one gripe, it's that Susan/Emma is a little naive and quick to trust despite her situation of having to live under a new identity to protect herself which I found a little odd.

Overall, I found this a gripping story that had me captivated until the end and I will most definitely read more from this author.

Thank you to Headline via NetGalley for my copy in return for an honest and unedited review and I can only apologise that it has taken me so long to get round to reading it.


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